Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i would punch a child for taco bell
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Randomize
