She is in my trunk
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
