Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
