I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
