Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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