This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
