he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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