Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
