So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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