I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
