So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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