I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
