i love accidental penises.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
