billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
