You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
