I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
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