I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
