Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
