ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
