i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
