Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
