How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
