Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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