yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
