You made me cry and you don't even care
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
