You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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