he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
