i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I don't deserve a penis
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
