dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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