We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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