you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
