Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
