who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
