DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
