i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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