Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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