My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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