I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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