they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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