I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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