I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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