I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
