When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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