i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
