I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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