How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
A+ Viking dick
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
