My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
