When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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