dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
