I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
