i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
