No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
