What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
